How to Finally Confront Your Emotional Pain and Heal | Dr. Gabor Maté
How to Finally Confront Your Emotional Pain and Heal | Dr. Gabor Maté
How to Finally Confront Your Emotional Pain and Heal | Dr. Gabor Maté
In this enlightening video, renowned physician and trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté reveals the transformative power of self-healing. Discover how true healing comes from within, and learn why confronting your emotional pain is essential for lasting recovery.
Key Takeaways:
Understand the root causes of emotional wounds and how they affect your well-being.
Learn the importance of self-reflection and facing discomfort to foster personal growth.
Gain insights into Dr. Maté’s personal experiences with trauma and how they shaped his healing philosophy.
Find out why external solutions often fail and how to tap into your inner strength for profound healing.
Join us on this journey to embrace your pain, confront your struggles, and unlock the healing power that resides within you. Don’t let your past define you—learn how to reclaim your emotional health today!
🔔 Subscribe for more insights on emotional healing and personal growth!
🔔 Credit and Connect: A Special Thanks To Dr. Gabor Mate for always sharing his insightful talks.
💖 Who is Dr Gabor Mate?
Dr. Gabor Maté is a retired physician, bestselling author, and well-known speaker who is in high demand for his knowledge of addiction, trauma, stress, and childhood development. He is the author of four best-selling books.
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* Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, commenting, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational, or personal use tip the balance in favor of fair use.
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I appreciate you sharing the amazing video with your audience, Dr. Maté. Every video on your channel is a lesson, and your channel itself is a school. Every one of them teaches us something. May you and your loved ones be blessed.
I love these videos ❤, but I wish the music wasn’t so distracting.
Sounds ai generated,with invented name of the dr
Great but music not appropriate and so so distracting
As much as I respect and honor my fellow Hungarian descendant and fellow physician, he is simply wrong in this piece. I’m a retired psychiatrist/physician/stress researcher/author and recovering alcoholic/addict. My own childhood abuse memories did not surface, so that I could process and let go of them, until I returned to my mother’s hometown and sat in hundreds of 12-step "group therapy" sessions, as well as completed the emotional/physical/mental/spiritual healing program of the 12-steps with a kind and trustworthy (not all are) sponsor. I finally found the "protection and care" that I had sought and been denied my whole life in our hurry-up highly competitive winner take all society. Ironically, my fellow 12-step attendees had little or no awareness that their simply being in the same room and showing me the same kindness as I showed them was the key to my deep psychological/spiritual healing. I have moved on from attending these groups 4-6 times a week for 12 yrs. to just one small group of educated and kind fellows, but the principles of recovery will be forever etched into my soul, and I only hope and pray that my example at 78yo may help the newcomers. My healing did indeed come from deep within, but that could only occur when a group of my fellows provided the protection and care I had so needed my whole life. I thank them for that and pray I pass it on.
At 52, I could not be more grateful than this video at this exact moment in my life. I have been trying to heal my traumas for thirty five years. Through medication wrong diagnosis’s label’s misjudgment. Yet no one until this gentlemen authentically explained how hailing drama is exactly done.
To dive into what hurt you to sit within that to find an acceptance and learn how to express or release what it is, you’re feeling appropriately…….
So simple yet so profound.
If a comma patient can be taught how to walk and talk once again, we can all learn how to treat,and heal our traumas.
1 Hurt, 1loss, 1trauma one heartbreak at a time.
❤❤❤ Thank you so very much for this
The background music is distracting
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my YouTube channel 11 months ago about self development. Now I have 2,048 subs and > 2k hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
"Our treatment of both older people and children reflects the value we place on independence and autonomy. We do our best to make our children independent from birth. We leave them all alone in rooms with the lights out and tell them, ‘Go to sleep by yourselves.’ And the old people we respect most are the ones who will fight for their independence, who would sooner starve to death than ask for help."
Margaret Mead
"If a woman is to give her child what he will need throughout his life, it is absolutely fundamental that she not be separated from her newborn, for the hormones that foster and nourish her motherly instinct are released immediately after birth and continue in the following days and weeks as she grows more familiar with her baby.
When a newborn is separated from his mother—which was the rule not so long ago in maternity hospitals and still occurs in the majority of cases, out of ignorance and for the sake of convenience—then a great opportunity is missed for both mother and child.
The tradition of sacrificing children is deeply rooted in most cultures and religions. For this reason it is also tolerated, and indeed commended, in our western civilization. Naturally, we no longer sacrifice our sons and daughters on the altar of God, as in the biblical story of Abraham and Isaac. But at birth and throughout their later upbringing, we instill in them the necessity to love, honor, and respect us, to do their best for us, to satisfy our ambitions—in short, to give us everything our parents denied us.
We call this decency and morality. Children rarely have any choice in the matter. All their lives, they will force themselves to offer their parents something that they neither possess nor have any knowledge of, quite simply because they have never been given it: genuine, unconditional love that does not merely serve to gratify the needs of the recipient.
Yet they will continue to strive in this direction because even as adults they still believe that they need their parents and because, despite all the disappointments they have experienced, they still hope for some token of genuine affection from those parents.
The possibility of change depends on whether there is a sufficient number of enlightened witnesses to create a safety net for the growing consciousness of those who have been mistreated as children, so that they do not fall into the darkness of forgetfulness, from which they will later emerge as criminals or the mentally ill. Cradled in the "net" provided by such enlightened witnesses, these children can grow to be conscious adults, adults who live with and not against their past and who will therefore be able to do everything they can to create a more humane future for us all.
For it is more than likely that people who completely repress and falsify the mistreatment they once received will be a danger to others, a danger that increases the greater power they hold. This can be clearly illustrated by the lives of Hitler, Stalin, and countless of their followers. Among them will not be found a single person who became a tormentor of others who did not approve of the abuse he himself once received.
What becomes of all those people who are the successful products of a strict upbringing? It is inconceivable that they were able to express and develop their true feelings as children, for anger and helpless rage, which they were forbidden to display, would have been among these feelings – particularly if these children were beaten, humiliated, lied to, and deceived. What becomes of this forbidden and therefore unexpressed anger? Unfortunately, it does not disappear, but is transformed with time into a more or less conscious hatred directed against either the self or substitute persons, a hatred that will seek to discharge itself in various ways permissible and suitable for an adult.
When children are trained, they learn how to train others in turn. Children who are lectured to, learn how to lecture; if they are admonished, they learn how to admonish; if scolded, they learn how to scold; if ridiculed, they learn how to ridicule; if humiliated, they learn how to humiliate; if their psyche is killed, they will learn how to kill — the only question is who will be killed: oneself, others, or both. The way we were treated as small children is the way we treat ourselves the rest of our life. And we often impose the most agonizing suffering upon ourselves.
Fascism was not Hitler’s medium. Like many of his contemporaries, he got to know the totalitarian power model at home. The National Socialist form of fascism undoubtedly has clear traces of Hitler’s childhood. However, his childhood was not exceptional. That is why Gerhart Hauptmann and Martin Heidegger and many other famous intellectuals could not see through Hitler’s madness. They would have been able to do that only if they had seen through their own upbringing. Adolf Hitler was able to make Europe and the world the battlefield of his childhood, because millions of the inhabitants of Germany at the time had experienced something similar in their childhood.
They took the following principles for granted, although not consciously:
#1 The highest value is not life, but order and obedience.
#2 Order can only be created and maintained by violence.
#3 Creativity (which the child represents) is a danger to an adult and must be eradicated.
#4 The highest law is absolute obedience to the father.
#5 Disobedience and judgment are out of the question, as their punishment is discipline or the threat of death.
#6 A living, vital child must be trained as early as possible into an obedient robot, a slave.
#7 Unwanted feelings and real needs must therefore be resolutely suppressed.
#8 The mother never protects the child from the father’s punishments, but after the torture gives him a sermon about respecting and loving parents." because their punishment is punishment or the threat of death.
Individuals who do not want to know their own truth collude in denial with society as a whole, looking for a common "enemy" on whom to act out their repressed rage. But as the inhabitants of this shrinking planet near the end of the twentieth century, the danger inherent in self-deception is growing exponentially- and we can afford it less than ever. Fortunately, at the same time, we now have the tools we need to truly understand ourselves, as we were and as we are.
The fact is that an unscrupulous tyrant mobilizes the suppressed fears and anxieties of those who were beaten as children but have never been able to accuse their own fathers of doing so. Their loyalty to these fathers is unswerving, despite the torments suffered at their hands. Every tyrant symbolizes such a father, the figure whom the abused children remain attached to with every fiber of their being, hoping that one day they will be able to transform him into a loving parent by remaining blind.
When still in diapers, the child learns to knock at the gates of love with “obedience,” and unfortunately often does not unlearn this ever after. In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His “will” is completely identical with that of the government. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self.
In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His “will” is completely identical with that of the government. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals.
Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation. Educators have always known this and have exploited it for their own purposes. Grünewald writes that he has never yet found willfulness in an intellectually advanced or exceptionally gifted child.
Such a child can, in later life, exhibit extraordinary acuity in criticizing the ideologies of his opponents—and in puberty even the views by his own parents—because in these cases his intellectual powers can function without impairment. Furthermore, the teacher finds the soil already prepared for obedience, and the political leader has only to harvest what has been sown.
To sign away our democratic rights to future tyrants and dictators, because they cast themselves in the role of "strong fathers," thus reminding us of our own, is tantamount to committing collective suicide. Even if we have, since childhood, been waiting for the great, redeeming figure who will solve all our problems, as adults we can be aware that such a redeemer will, in reality, turn out to be something quite different.
Nationalism, racism, and fascism are in fact nothing other than ideological guises of the flight from painful, unconscious memories of endured contempt into the dangerous, destructive disrespect for human life, glorified as a political program."
Alice Miller
Gabriel your son is a hero of our times. Thankyou for raising that son.
Excellent perspective and insights! This Doctor is helping so many people! God bless ❤
Please release this video without the music.
This was great! What a marvelous healer this Dr is and good to listen to
Gabor Mate MD PhD ❤
The music distracts from the importance and weight of his worthy words…
❤❤
Inspirational and helpful words. Thank you.
Side note:it was kind of wild to pair this background music to the information being dictated throughout the video. Did not match the energy being transmitted. Kind of threw me off.
Regardless, thanks for the video.
So amazing-thank you.